


marjorie

by patroclusstars



Series: evermore x deancas [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Best friend Charlie Bradbury, Castiel is embarassed, Dean Winchester has cohesive thoughts, Fix It Fic, Happy Ending, Heaven, Jack Kline is a Winchester, Light Angst, Lyric fic, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Post-Finale, Pre-Relationship, Song fic, Swearing, aahh, based on marjorie by taylor swift, dumb gay bitch, for once, missed that funky little lesbian, no beta we die like men, not a huge mary fan but she's there ig, winchester's codependency strikes again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:34:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28665546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patroclusstars/pseuds/patroclusstars
Summary: All your closets of backlogged dreamsAnd how you left them all to me“Hey Cas,” Dean thinks it’s getting a little pathetic how often he prays to the angel. Every night before he goes to bed he has a little conversation in his mind, usually about how happy he is to see everyone, what happened that day, once about the little farmers market he visited and how Cas would love their peach cobbleror; deancas but cas is ghosting dean in heaven ft LOVED ONES WHO DIED
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Ellen Harvelle & Jo Harvelle & Dean Winchester, Jack Kline & Dean Winchester
Series: evermore x deancas [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055471
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	marjorie

**Author's Note:**

> this one's twice as long as everything else for some reason, i'll just put it down as "dean reunites with everyone he's lost" brainrot.  
> last fic baby i'm kinda sad ngl. maybe i'll add some others, but i don't think i have much else to write about that fits with the evermore album. i'll try tho
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS XOXO

And if I didn't know better  
I'd think you were talking to me now  
If I didn't know better  
I'd think you were still around

“Hey Cas,” Dean cleared his throat. Who knew you still had to do that in Heaven? “It’s me, again. Just wonderin’ when, or if, you can come down for a little visit. I think we should talk.”

Nothing.

Dean had been driving around in the Impala for hours. Years? Bobby warned him that time was different in Heaven, what felt like minutes there would be decades on Earth. When he got back, Sam would probably be there too. Fuck, he did not want to think about Sammy dying.

He turned the volume up on the Zepp mixtape, the one he gave Cas. He made a mental note to thank Jack for that the next time he saw him.

Other than the new music, Baby had remained the same as Dean last saw her, before, you know, being impaled and bleeding out. Ouch. Shit hurt. A trench-coat was folded up in the back seat, and a jacket with a distinctive blood stain had mysteriously ended up next to it.

“Another Easter egg from Jack I suppose.” It was almost like having Cas there. Almost.

What died didn’t stay dead  
You’re alive, you’re alive in my head

“Cas, man, it’s me again.” Dean sighed, resting his forehead on the steering wheel. Hey, it’s not like he can die again, what’s the harm in a little reckless behavior?

“I know you’re alive, Bobby told me. I can feel that you’re alive, I’m not sure how but I know you can hear me you son of a bitch!” He straightened up and slammed his left fist down on the door handle. “Whatever.”

Anger was weird in Heaven. It was dull and fleeting, and left a bad taste in his mouth. Wasn’t Heaven supposed to be paradise? It still felt like there was something missing for Dean.

He ruminated on his memories with Cas. Maybe somehow he got the confession wrong? Maybe it was a “bro” moment, not an “I wanna kiss you” moment. Regardless, why wouldn’t Cas come to clear the air or at least let him know he was alive?

“Maybe you’re just busy.” Dean reationalized. “I mean, handling the new angels and revamping Heaven must take up a lot of time…”

Still nothing.

And I complained the whole way there  
The car ride back and up the stairs

Dean, slowly getting the hang of this Heaven thing, began to see what looked like a lake, with a little beach and a dock. Similar to a dream he had when Cas decided to invade it.

‘Ha, this’ll get him.’ He thought victoriously.

The lake came into view, and he slowed to a stop on the side of the road, just before the trail down to the water. He got out and walked down the length of the dock, stumbling slightly as the wood creaked gently under his weight.

Sitting at the edge of the dock, pants rolled up with socks and boots next to him, he began to pray. Again.

“Hey Cas, it’s Dean, again.” He grinned softly at his reflection in the water. “‘M sorry I didn’t live my life the way you wanted me to. I was scared, I thought dying would be easier, and I had an easy way out. But I wanted to live, trust me. Cas, I wanted to do this in person but you’ve left me no choice. I love you. I think I always have.”

Dean heard nothing but the soft chirping of crickets and birds nearby, and his own breathing.

“Unless it wasn’t a romantic confession?” Nada. “C’mon man, give me something!” Dean pressed the heels of his palms tightly against his eyes, relishing in the dull pain it brought.

I should've asked you questions  
I should've asked you how to be  
Asked you to write it down for me

Eileen and Sam were there when Dean returned. His brother hugged him tight, complaining about all the years he was left alone with his codependency and nowhere to put it. Dean laughed, but it still felt hollow.

Sam told him all about their son, named Dean after his uncle, and how they quit active hunting to become a Bobby-esque team for the new generation of hunters. He told Dean about the giant memorial they had for him, with all of his family and friends, the way he would have wanted.

Dean smiled.

Bobby ushered them into the Roadhouse 2, where their family was waiting for them. Ellen and Jo, Kevin, Charlie, Mary, even Jack showed up.

(Dean is secure enough now to say that he openly sobbed when Charlie wrapped herself around him, whispering reassurances in his ear. God, he missed his best friend.)

Ellen and Jo were another story entirely. Ellen yelled at him for dying so young, and Jo made fun of him for being old. Their hugs lasted years.

Mary's was brief, there was still a weird bridge between them that they had yet to cross, but there were not hard feelings whatsoever.

Kevin, the little bitch, just punched Dean in the arm with a smile and walked away.

“Dean!” Jack marched over to him after he had greeted his loved ones.

“Hey Jack,” Dean smiled and opened his arms for his kid, who was now God. ‘Still my kid though,’ He thought when Jack nestled himself under Dean’s chin.

“Have you seen Cas yet?” Jack asked once he dislodged himself. “I brought him back as soon as I could!”

“I heard that bud, I’m really happy you did that.” Jack smiled contently, but something darkened his expression. 

“Dean, what do you mean ‘heard’?”

“Well…” Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “He hasn’t exactly showed up to see me yet.”

Jack blinked. “Have you tried praying? No nevermind, of course you have. I’ll go yell at him, don’t you worry!” He disappeared. It was Dean’s turn to blink.

Before he knew it, the party was wrapping up and everyone was going home. Sam and Eileen found a nice little place down the street from this adorable old farmhouse Dean “claimed.” He no longer understood Heaven logic, but who was he to argue against a free, completely furnished house? It had a wrap around porch and a rocking chair!

He still felt… empty. As soon as the thrill and joy from seeing his friends faded, he was just lonely. Sam had Eileen, Ellen had Bobby, Jo, Kevin and Charlie apparently were all close friends. Dean had people, but none of them were Cas.

And now he knew that Cas was ignoring him, so that was awesome. He sighed, and watched the sun set on his first official day in Heaven, all alone.

All your closets of backlogged dreams  
And how you left them all to me

“Hey Cas,” Dean thinks it’s getting a little pathetic how often he prays to the angel. Every night before he goes to bed he has a little conversation in his mind, usually about how happy he is to see everyone, what happened that day, once about the little farmers market he visited and how Cas would love their peach cobbler.

“I thought we’d do something a little different today.” He shifted in his rocking chair on the porch, ready to spill his guts to a biblical being that was ignoring him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t love you, I did. I do! Obviously, you idiot. I mean, you said you could feel intent, and I know you took more than a few walks through my head, so why in the hell did you think I was something you couldn’t have?” Dean took a sip of his apple juice, not beer, not for this.

“I’m also sorry for not telling you. I was scared you’d reject me and I’d lose my best friend along with the man I loved. In all honesty I thought angels weren’t capable of romantic love.” He paused. “Which, I guess isn’t fair to you. I mean, time and time again you have proven to be different from the rest of your kind, and I’m sorry I lumped you in with the rest of them because of my fears.”

“I don’t think I was really ready to face what loving you meant, what my bisexuality meant before you. C’mon, my dad wasn’t the most openhearted soul. If he ever caught Lee and I… I don’t know what he’d do. Then it was like, I was sleeping with guys pretty openly, so I didn’t think I had to explain, but I wasn’t ‘out.’ Then there’s this legitimate angel of the Lord telling me that sexual orientation isn’t going to send a person to Hell and I just… Man you changed my life.”

“I loved Cassie and Lee and Lisa and Benny but Cas, you are the love of my life. I will never and have never loved anyone the way I love you. I hope you know that. Every time you died it’s like a piece of me was lost until we were reunited. I need you to come back one last time, please. I’m begging here Cas.”

Dean looked around at the still-empty porch, the last rays of sunlight streaming over his face and hands. He sighed, looking out at the peaceful twilight beginning to set in.

I know better  
But you're still around

A distinct flutter of wings sounded just behind his left shoulder. Castiel.

“Hello, Dean.”


End file.
